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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?